maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
We smell like vodka and hangover
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