Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
