Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Randomize
