he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Randomize
