dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
