Apparently you make a good broom.
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
