We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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