Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Randomize
