well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Help. Why am I so naked?
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
