Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
Verdict: uncircumcised.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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