I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
