So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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