Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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