So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Randomize
