she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
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