My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
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