Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Randomize
