And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
Randomize
