i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
These Dirty People Haven’t Told Their SO About Their Kinky Fetish
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
This is Why People Stop Sex Halfway Through
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.