I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."