clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.