Texts From Last Night

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  (479): View more from Arkansas

  if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey

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  (479): if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey http://tfl.nu/i09e
  Replies (16) Good night (1119) Bad night (2374)
• Favorite

  (301): View more from Maryland

  i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend

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  (301): i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend http://tfl.nu/2pir
  Replies (62) Good night (2962) Bad night (1289)
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  (304): View more from West Virginia

  I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.

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  (304): I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough. http://tfl.nu/4w8d
  Replies (11) Good night (1178) Bad night (3598)
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  (937): View more from Ohio

  I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning

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  (937): I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning http://tfl.nu/bu5f
  Replies (22) Good night (1228) Bad night (5860)
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  (318): View more from Louisiana

  I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.

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  (318): I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry. http://tfl.nu/98cc
  Replies (9) Good night (6277) Bad night (1464)
• Favorite

  (618): View more from Illinois

  you should give me head with plastic fangs in

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  (618): you should give me head with plastic fangs in http://tfl.nu/ku60
  Replies (59) Good night (2381) Bad night (8805)
• Favorite

  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.

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  (202): you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry. http://tfl.nu/e7cu
  Replies (9) Good night (7394) Bad night (1083)
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  (408): View more from California

  You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.

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  (408): You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed. http://tfl.nu/u516
  Replies (7) Good night (1143) Bad night (2197)
• Favorite

  (705): View more from Ontario

  I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.

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  (705): I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler. http://tfl.nu/mskj
  Replies (6) Good night (2685) Bad night (799)
• Favorite

  (734): View more from Michigan

  you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.

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  (734): you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you. http://tfl.nu/57kx
  Replies (7) Good night (2046) Bad night (1128)
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  (518): View more from New York

  You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them

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  (518): You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them http://tfl.nu/vo2h
  Replies (13) Good night (2613) Bad night (699)
• Favorite

  (914): View more from New York

  She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?

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  (914): She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable? http://tfl.nu/73t2
  Replies (4) Good night (2662) Bad night (667)
• Favorite

  (907): View more from Alaska

  Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen

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  (907): Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen http://tfl.nu/aug1
  Replies (14) Good night (972) Bad night (2629)
• Favorite

  (614): View more from Ohio

  My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.

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  (614): My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep. http://tfl.nu/ua0k
  Replies (14) Good night (2656) Bad night (586)
• Favorite

  (714): View more from California

  I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.

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  (714): I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner. http://tfl.nu/e65g
  Replies (3) Good night (530) Bad night (287)

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