Texts From Last Night

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  (210): View more from Texas

  Hey it's Austin.

  (254): View more from Texas

  I am not drunk enough for this conversation.

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  (210): Hey it's Austin. (254): I am not drunk enough for this conversation. http://tfl.nu/124v
  Replies (29) Good night (972) Bad night (1936)
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  (336): View more from North Carolina

  He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.

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  (336): He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid. http://tfl.nu/xe46
  Replies (27) Good night (574) Bad night (4777) Order T-Shirt
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  (770): View more from Georgia

  I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today

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  (770): I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today http://tfl.nu/te6h
  Replies (41) Good night (5379) Bad night (459) Order T-Shirt
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  (858): View more from California

  Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.

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  (858): Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo. http://tfl.nu/gbo1
  Replies (44) Good night (2239) Bad night (5139) Order T-Shirt
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  (216): View more from Ohio

  i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"

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  (216): i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey" http://tfl.nu/8m25
  Replies (29) Good night (6582) Bad night (1457) Order T-Shirt
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  (919): View more from North Carolina

  My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.

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  (919): My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet. http://tfl.nu/ix9e
  Replies (67) Good night (17913) Bad night (1266) Order T-Shirt
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  (918): View more from Oklahoma

  Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?

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  (918): Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet? http://tfl.nu/ki3z
  Replies (5) Good night (4476) Bad night (749) Order T-Shirt
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  (310): View more from California

  Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs

  (310): View more from California

  Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?

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  (310): Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs (310): Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor? http://tfl.nu/gbsd
  Replies (6) Good night (3715) Bad night (1025)
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  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit

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  (405): You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit http://tfl.nu/wkkh
  Replies (8) Good night (2187) Bad night (876) Order T-Shirt
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  (317): View more from Indiana

  We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt

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  (317): We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt http://tfl.nu/hqwl
  Replies (12) Good night (3057) Bad night (721) Order T-Shirt
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  (917): View more from New York City

  I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.

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  (917): I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration. http://tfl.nu/hksr
  Replies (5) Good night (757) Bad night (1583) Order T-Shirt
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  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  We need more drag queens in our life I've decided

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  (781): We need more drag queens in our life I've decided http://tfl.nu/77cl
  Replies (3) Good night (976) Bad night (439) Order T-Shirt
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  (369): View more from California

  Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?

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  (369): Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night? http://tfl.nu/oh80
  Replies (7) Good night (600) Bad night (943) Order T-Shirt
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  (818): View more from California

  end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin

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  (818): end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin http://tfl.nu/ky3g
  Replies (4) Good night (1078) Bad night (241) Order T-Shirt
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  (919): View more from North Carolina

  what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?

  (1-919): View more from North Carolina

  An artistic expression of her stupidity.

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  (919): what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding? (1-919): An artistic expression of her stupidity. http://tfl.nu/majp
  Replies (1) Good night (494) Bad night (109) Order T-Shirt

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