I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
