I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
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