: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
