What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
too bad you live with your parents still
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
It's official drugs can't kill me
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
Randomize
