You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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