covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
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