were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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