i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
