found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
