girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Randomize
