Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
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