she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
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I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
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My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
you made out with another girl for some wings
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
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