even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
Randomize
