Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
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