My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
