As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
