boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
you told grandpa to call you daddy
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
