If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Randomize
