Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Such a big mess for such a small penis
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