I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
Randomize