Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
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