you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
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I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
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My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
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