he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
so much tequila, so little girl.
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Randomize
