at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Randomize
