i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
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