great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
