so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
