; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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