yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
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