she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Randomize
