butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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