i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
