i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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