There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
On my way home I saw a car that had "MOVE OVER PLZ" emblazoned across the windshield backwards, so people could see it in their rearview mirror
If I ever drive for Lyft or Uber I'm definitely gonna do that
Randomize
