Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Randomize
