You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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