Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
do herpes really smell.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
you will always have a special place in my vag
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
