I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
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