I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
Randomize
