I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
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