No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
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