worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
Of course I have a pirate flag
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
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