whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
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