Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
Randomize
