also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
