You just made me feel so damn special
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
Randomize
