His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Randomize
