yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Randomize
