It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
you are never too drunk for berry picking
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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