sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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