My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
then he tried to convert me to islam
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
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