so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
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