I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
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